Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Last Wednesday my son began to regard his hands.
I saw him looking at his hand. His hand wavered, and his gaze solemn. I was surprised, just as his strong grip surprised me in his first days. I have not been close to a newborn since my brother was born.
My son's fingers form a combination of joke "I've got your nose" and the kung fu "phoenix fist". He gazes on, and I watch him.
He grasps some of his toys and is especially drawn to touch red things. A stuffed dalmatian brings him a red heart that states "Hug Me", a Valentine's Day gift. He grasps the heart, the dog's body, face.
He gazes at the dog, and I watch him. I remember when he, just six weeks old, began to fuss when I loomed over him as he lay in his crib. His hands waved. I'm watching my mobile, Mom. I move my head away. He quieted and gazed up.
I told our health practitioner this. That's good, she said. You all need your own time.
Time is short lately. Days go from bright to moonlit. Spring is coming. The titmice are singing steadily now. I accomplish a load of laundry, a squash soup, a walk outside. My son fusses in my arms, his eyes begin to close, I begin to relax, he struggles and fusses, I am tired, his eyes begin to close, he sighs, I watch him begin to dream, I hear his sleep breathing diggi ha, diggi ha, diggi ha. I'd like to do a thousand things. I regard my son. Time is short lately.
Posted by Rachel Mackow at 6:33 PM
Monday, February 7, 2011
Last week's storm took out the power for several hours. Much shorter than the last outage. We did have to break icicles off the house to collect water to flush the toilet. Luckily, we anticipated the outage - we did the dishes and filled pitchers with drinking water.
Cabin fever drove us out into the meadow - too much ice was falling to go into the forest. We walked for an hour and hardly made any progress. Each step held for just a moment before we plunged through the thin ice and into snow up to our knees. My shins were bruised from banging against the ice layer with each step forward.
Regardless, the birds sing on territory and the sun sets later. Spring is just about here.
The ice melts now after several days over 40 degrees with some sun. I admit that I am pleased.
Posted by Rachel Mackow at 5:32 PM