Wednesday, June 18, 2014

I Dropped two f*cks


My loves on a ridgetop walk.

"The Duke!" Beren squeals. "Take the Duke to work with you, Papa!"

The Duke is a piece of black irrigation pipe with a 3/4" connector embedded in it. On Monday, while I was at work, Jared and Beren worked on our irrigation system. From what I have gathered, the connector would not come free from the pipe, and Jared said, "C'mon, Duke!"

Pre-Beren "Duke" was a light curse in our household. It was shortened from "Maraduke", the goofy dog of Sunday comic fame. Jared would call bad drivers, "Duke". "Duke" was nearly always prefaced with "C'mon".

"C'mon, Duke. I'm trying to merge here." I have no idea where Jared came up with this, but it lodged in our shared language. Now, it delights Beren.

"The Duke" is highly preferred to come of the other gems that have graced Beren's tongue.

"I dropped two f**ks on the ground," he said casually and to himself in recent months.

"Hhmm?" I inquired mildly. I pressed all judgment, alarm, and laughter from my voice.

"Is that what people [Momma] say when they [Momma] are upset that they [Momma] dropped something?"

"Yes."

"OK, well if you hear someone [Momma] say that, you can tell them [Momma], it's not really a nice thing to say."

I related the story to Jared with much rubbing of my temples and laughter.

In recent weeks, Beren observed my father (Grandpa) repairing our outdoor electrically outlet. He loves watching my father repair things. Beren could sit patiently for hours as Grandpa climbed ladders, set concrete, or installed Bilco doors.

"Sh*t!" my father exclaimed. Though I couldn't see my mother who was also outside, she winced. She possibly hissed quieting words. I considered calling Beren inside, but decided that I'd not interfere and make a big calamity out of my father's minor calamity. This was life, words are words, and in no time he'd be pre-adolescent and experimenting with curses.

Jared related that he heard Beren murmuring, "Sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t" while in the bathtub in the evening.

"When I heard your Dad this morning, I knew it was the sh*t heard 'round the world," Jared said.

"Please don't tell my Mom," I said smiling.


Our ridgetop walk.

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